Another Dumb Blonde
by Sage of Angst
Summary: One-shot focusing on our favorite relationship as seen through the eyes of two very close friends. A step away from my ever-prevalent angst streak.


_Author's Notes:_ Ok, just a short little not-so-short one shot concerning two seldom fleshed-out characters and just what they thought about all this stuff going on with their friends. As per usual, you are asked to read and subsequently begged to review—it is my lifeblood! Right…on with the fluff!

Another Dumb Blonde

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Look at me. Go on, take a nice long look—what do you see? Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a body that could kill. That's what you see—that's what everyone sees. You meet me, and before I even open my mouth, you know I'm not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

Brains? That's Gohan's field. Brawn? That's Videl's. You look in our class, and there I am, second from the end, sitting by the cutie with the funny hair a few rows up. I'm filing my already perfectly manicured nails, catching bits and pieces of a teacher's lecture and getting it mixed up in my head with bits and pieces of conversations from the rows above and below me. "And did you _hear_ what Cleopatra said to Napoleon? I know! I was like 'Why don't you just go ahead and sink the Lusitania and save us all the trouble of signing the Magna Carta?'"

That's usually what I gather from a day of learning: a bunch of nonsense. But then, what's a famous fashion designer need with some outdated history lesson?

What? You don't think I could design clothes? I'll have you know I get _tons_ of compliments on my outfits from guys every day—I happen to think I've got _quite_ a future in the fashion world. And, you know, even if that fails, I've got other options. I could do pretty much anything if I set my mind to it. Like…I could start a Private Eye business.

Oh, you're laughing again? Don't think I could cut it as a P.I. either, huh? Just because I may not seem too smart, doesn't mean I don't notice what's going on around me. I'm more than meets the eye.

You'd be surprised by the things I notice around me that seems to slip by others. Like…take our Videl, for instance. It's not that obvious, but she's been _pretty_ tight with Gohan for the past few months now, ever since the World Martial Arts Tournament. People are still going around saying that the whole thing was a big fiasco—all the flying, the blasts, that it was all a bunch of tricks and lies; but among our little group, it's no secret.

That is, it's no secret that they _weren't_ tricks, that Gohan really _is_ both Saiyaman and the Gold Fighter. That not only he, but also Videl really can fly and fight and do seemingly impossible things. Sharpener and I know all this.

What _is_ a secret, though, is whether or not Gohan and Videl are…an "item."

I know, you think I'm crazy. Gohan? What a nerd! Videl? Yeah right, like _she'd_ ever settle down. Most people don't notice it, how they're a lot more friendly toward each other now—how Videl smiles more whenever she's with him, how she's not as tough as before. They don't notice the way both their faces light up when a police call comes for them on Videl's watch during a particularly boring math lesson. And only an especially perceptive best friend would notice how little time she spends at _her_ house, and how _much_ time she spends at his.

I play dumb around them a lot—it's more fun to watch when they think you don't know their big secret. Offhandedly, I'll make some comment to her in gym about how cute Gohan looks today, how I never noticed it before (yeah, right—I noticed the first day he walked in), just to get a reaction. Boy, do I get one! She'll go all red in the face, and I half expect steam to start pouring out of her ears. Just when I think she's about to blow, I'll make an innocent remark, all worried, like, "Geez, 'Del, what's wrong? You alright?" 

She'll immediately cover her face, and that's when I know she's no longer red from anger, but from embarrassment at letting her true feelings show to anyone. She'll mutter something along the lines of, "N-nothing," and I just stand there, smirking knowingly. It feels so good.

I've talked to Sharpener about it a few times at lunch—Videl usually sits with Gohan, now, anyway. He seems a lot nicer towards Gohan lately; mostly, I think, because he's scared the poor guy'll rip his arms off or something for all the teasing earlier in the year. He's long since given up on any ideas of a romantic relationship with Videl; though—I think he still has a little crush on her. Kinda pitiful, but kinda cute too, when I think about it…

Oh, anyway, Sharpener's tried to see what Gohan thinks of Videl—at my request, of course—but the boy won't make a peep. All he does is put on that stupid grin of his and stretch his arm behind his head whenever their relationship comes up. And to think I had a crush on him once…_what_ was I thinking? I don't know what Videl sees in him, but whatever it is, it's _strong_—she's got it bad for this guy.

The other day, in Chemistry, we were supposed to be doing…what _was_ it…well, I don't remember what we _should _have been doing, but I look over to my right, and there's Videl, staring at her paper, doodling. _Doodling_—totally tuning out the teacher and trying vainly to cover up her pen scratches. Just at that moment, as luck would have it, her watch beeps, and she has to move her hand to press the button, leaving her work uncovered.

I steal a furtive glance over at her paper—she doesn't notice me as she discusses some situation with the police chief—and my eyes grow to the size of saucers; any lesser woman would have lost it right then at that sight.

The girl had "Mrs. Videl Son" written, like, _fifty_ times, all over her notebook! No kidding—in tons of different ways: there was a signature, a proper printing, a quick jotting, even one that was all curly-cues with hearts and flowers! Right at that moment, I wanted to slap the poor girl back to her sense; now, when I think about it, I think it's kinda cute, how someone as unlikely as _Gohan_ could make tough little Videl go all weak in the knees.

I never told her about it, that I saw what she had written, but I'm going to—soon. Maybe it'll teach her to keep great secrets like this from her best friend. We're going shopping—well, _I'm_ going, and she's being dragged along—later today…Should be the perfect time to confront her.

****

You know, I think I was wrong about him—and I don't know if that's good or bad. When I teased him back at the beginning of the year, when he was just the "new guy," it was because I knew he was a scrawny nerd who couldn't do anything back—he couldn't hurt me.

Boy, was I wrong. And I thought _Videl_ was the only one who posed any threat to me. Shown up by a girl—how embarrassing!

I'm just glad he didn't rip my arms off for trying to get her to go on a date with me. When Eresa and I were sitting there in the stands, we were just there for Videl—we weren't looking for anyone else. Then, when Saiyaman walked out, it suddenly just clicked: Saiyaman was Gohan! Well, it wasn't _that_ difficult a conclusion to draw—after all, the guy only had a pair of shades covering his face, instead of that orange monstrosity he usually sports. That was when I flashed back to before the preliminary rounds, up on the roof, when my Videl had latched herself so lovingly onto that Saiyajerk's arm…

It was Gohan. Always Gohan. Right then, I was furious, and all I could focus on was how I'd give him a piece of my mind the next day at school, you could count on _that_. I was already getting pumped, envisioning the look of horror on his face, preparing to grind him into dust…that is, until he turned into the Gold Fighter.

Now, Saiyaman, everyone had heard of him. And everyone had heard of his stupid poses, his lame speeches to villains, his general moronic persona…but only a few remembered the Gold Fighter. He'd been seen _once _in our city. The day Gohan started school here, then never again; after that Saiyaman took over. 

If Saiyaman was goofy, then the Gold Fighter had a reputation as anything _but_. 

It took all my strength to keep my bladder under control: Saiyaman…_and_ the Gold Fighter? What was _with_ this guy?! But, it didn't matter who he was, it was all trickery…nothing but lights and flashes, that was all.

Then, like before, I flashed on what little I had heard of the Gold Fighter's exploits. How he supposedly flew, like Saiyaman, how he seemed to move faster than the eye could follow, how he stopped a truckload of bank robbers simply by yelling at them.

I realized, then, that fighting Gohan probably wouldn't be a good idea; in fact, apologizing profusely would probably be a much wiser course of action. Getting myself killed over a girl who hated my guts was _not_ on my list of things to do.

Now, if you look at me, you might not think—despite my name—that I'm the sharpest knife in the drawer, and you'd probably be right. I spend most of my afternoons and weekends down at the Satan City Athletic Center training. Matter over mind, I guess you could say. A few months ago I would've rolled to the floor laughing if you'd even remotely suggested that Gohan could lay a finger on me in a fight, much less beat me. But I've seen him in the locker room when we change for gym. The guy's buff—now I know why, Mr. "son of Son Goku, former Budokai fighter"—and coming from me, that's saying something. I would _not_ want to be on the receiving end of anything that guy dishes out.

Eresa came up to me the other day, blatantly flirting and batting her eyelashes, asking me, in a voice as sweet as honey, if I'd do her a favor. We talked for a good half-hour about what she called the "budding romance" between Videl and Gohan. I stifled a laugh at first, but when I got to thinking about it, I realized that they _were_ both acting differently towards each other.

This whole time, I'd tried to get her to pay attention to _me_, and she'd practically been _throwing_ herself at Gohan! At the tournament, but particularly in these months _after_ the Budokai, she'd practically moved in with him for all the time she spent at the guy's house. I wasn't really angry at _him_ for taking Videl, but more at myself for not realizing it sooner. I could've been seducing other women!

Eresa wanted me to talk to Gohan; I tried to get out of it—talk about awkward. But she claimed it'd be just as awkward if _she_ did it, and it'd be better if a guy asked. I had to agree, but still, it felt weird—we weren't exactly friends or anything. She kept bugging me though, whining, "Sharpie…", and I buckled like a belt. Really, I was curious, too.

That same day after school, I managed to steal him away from Videl, but not before she extracted some promise from him about "lessons" later. He smiled goofily and waved goodbye, then turned back to me, wondering what I wanted.

For the first time in my life, I fumbled around for words. It was way too awkward for me to just ask if he and Videl were going out. After a moment, I managed, "Gohan, are you…and Videl…?"

I gestured "together" with my hands, hoping the guy might catch my drift and save me the trouble of forming the question on my own, but no such luck. I began to doubt if he didn't dye his hair—even _I'm_ not that naïve.

"Are we…what?"

"You know…" I looked around to make sure she wasn't lurking somewhere nearby, listening, waiting to jump me as soon as I left Gohan. "Are you…going out, or anything?" This clearly just confused him even more, though. Exasperated, I huffed out, "Does the phrase "boyfriend and girlfriend" mean _anything_ to you?"

Oh, he recognized _that_, and grew beet red almost immediately, stretching his arm behind his head like he always does when he's nervous. I think he mumbled something along the lines of, "Well—uh, I—gee…I…" and went on in that vein for about five minutes before I finally gave up on him and left. Couldn't this guy just give a straight answer? You'd think I'd just held the Spanish Inquisition!

That was some time ago, and the other day I happened to glance over at the tree he usually sits under—with Videl—as I let my eyes wander the campus. Sure enough, there they were, laughing and talking away like they were the only ones that existed at that moment. Sitting _awfully_ close, I might add. What's more, he had his _arm_ around her, and she was laying her head on his shoulder! I tried that once…my arm still hurts when I think about it—did she have to hit so hard? The lovey-dovey-ness of it all made me want to hurl right then. I don't think they noticed anyone watching, though, or I'm sure they would have acted a bit more discreetly.

Hmm…maybe I should ask him about it this afternoon. Eresa mentioned something about taking Videl out shopping; he should be free from her clutches for a while…

*****

"So, 'Del," Eresa began casually as she lazily thumbed through a rack of neon-colored mini skirts. "How's…life? We don't talk much lately."

Videl gave a slight chuckle at her friend's ambiguity. "Uh, everything's fine, I guess…" She fingered a blouse as she waited for the blonde to make her selection—which could take hours at the rate they were going. Three stores, and she _still_ hadn't found anything that suited her tastes.

"Nothing new? No new…interests?" Eresa smiled knowingly to herself. Let Videl sweat a _little_ longer. "Get that _chemistry_ work done?"

A bit of the color drained from the fighter's face, and she suddenly seemed a lot more interested in the blouse than her friend's questions. "Nope—uh, nothing new, really. The…the chemistry's…just great—the work! The chemistry _work_," she quickly corrected, voice rising in pitch. "Just—great!"

"Ah…" Eresa moved to another rack—this time inspecting the formal dresses—and her friend hesitantly followed, trying to discern her motives for the questions. Pulling one out for show, the blonde asked innocently, "You think Gohan'd like this one?"

"Wh-wha—!?"  The blood rushed back to Videl's face. Surely, _surely_ they weren't shopping for a dress Eresa could ask Gohan out in, _were_ they? "I—I…I dunno…I wouldn't….know, that is." She nervously tucked a strand of ebony behind her ear. That girl had _so_ better not ask him out. Not before _she_ could.

Whoa—whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop that train, slow that horse. This was _Gohan_, not just some random cute guy from school. _Gohan._ The most powerful being in the universe, recently back from the dead (as was she)…the sweetest, heck—the hottest guy on the planet…she couldn't just "ask him out"…it wouldn't be right! He wasn't any normal guy you did that to. He deserved something more…more _lasting_. No dates for him.

My, my, my. Was that…_jealousy_? No… well…

Eresa just shrugged as she watched Videl wage her mental battle with herself, and replaced the dress. She then dragged a very relieved fighter from the store, and they stopped to grab a hot dog, sitting down to eat it on a bench in the mall's courtyard area. As they munched away contentedly, it was once again Eresa who casually started up a conversation. But now, it was time to move in for the kill.

"Hey, Videl." She looked up at her friend, curious, sipping loudly on her soda. The blonde smiled mischievously at the sight. "I saw what you were writing in your chem. notebook the other day…"

Her eyes grew to saucer plate size, and she ceased sipping from the straw, allowing it instead to hang ungracefully from her gaping mouth. "You—y—what are…what are you talking about?" she tried to save.

It was to no avail, though, and Eresa beamed, playfully slapping her,  "No use hiding it, Son Videl!" The end of the declaration came considerably louder than the beginning, and Videl pounced on her friend, trying to quickly shush her, and cast a furtive glance around at the stares the two were receiving.

"Shh—Shutup! You wanna let the whole world know? Just what I need…"

"Ooh!" the girl squealed excitedly, clapping her hands. "It's true—you _do_ like Gohan!"

"I…Yeah, well, _so_?" she grudgingly admitted, sitting back and crossing her arms angrily, turning away.

At this, Eresa pouted, "Don't be like that 'Del!" Lowering her voice so as not to attract any more attention, she added, "No one _else_ knows—if you know what I mean—and… I actually think it's sorta cute, you and him." No response, still. "I promise…I won't tell anyone."

Slowly, she turned back, a smile threatening to make its way across her lips. "Promise?"

Grinning, Eresa confirmed brightly, "Promise!"

*****

"Yo! Gohan!" Sharpener jogged from halfway across the parking lot to catch up with Gohan as he hastily made his way off of the school grounds. "Wait—wait up! Where are you going?" he managed to huff out.

Allowing the blonde to catch up and regain his breath, Gohan turned and stared, replying simply, "Home."

Hands on his knees, breathing heavily (he _had_ run the halls searching for the boy before he left campus) he surveyed the empty lot the two were standing in. No cars—everyone had already left for the day, and their only company was a plastic bottle, rolled to and fro by gusts of wind. "…Home? In what?" Checking once more, he continued, "You're not…gonna walk, are you? Didn't you say you had a one-seater earlier in the year?"

Grinning nervously, he cast a sideways glance at his questioner. "Well…I _fly_, Sharpener. I thought…I thought you knew. I don't actually _have_ a car, to tell the truth." With that said, he turned away and clutched his book bag close, preparing to blast off once more. 

"H—hey!" Sharpener grabbed his shirt, yanking him back. "Hold on a sec. I wanted to…ask you something."

_'Again? I hope it's not about what he asked the other day…'_ Gohan mentally lamented. He settled back to the earth and gave him a moment to speak.

"The other day, I saw…you and Videl, sitting underneath that tree in the courtyard at lunch."

Gohan shrugged it off, unsure of where this was leading. "Well, yeah. We sit there pretty much _every_ day. That's certainly nothing new."

Sharpener grinned slyly now, aware that he had the upper hand in regards to blackmail-worthy information. He nodded, then added, "I know that, but you can't convince me that every day you put your arm around her and let her lay her head on your shoulder." The mere memory of that sight made the blonde nauseous.

Gohan's ears took on a peculiar pink tinge, and his eyes—needless to say—grew considerably wider. Sharpener…had _seen_ them? That was more than a little embarrassing, to say the least. They weren't _usually_ so affectionate towards each other, but something had obviously been different that day…Had it been a full moon?

As he watched Gohan nervously rack his brain for an excuse, Sharpener leaned in close to the demi-Saiyan, dropped his voice, and pressed, "You like her, don't ya?"

"_Wha_—! I…I—well…it's—we…" His voice trailed off into nothingness, devoid of any plausible excuse.

Sharpener rolled his eyes and snorted derisively. "_There's_ a convincing argument if ever I heard one." His face took on, then, a feel of pseudo-pity as he watched the display. "Man, you've got it bad. Can't even form a coherent sentence…"

Shooting to attention, aware of his audience, Gohan queried worriedly, "Y-you don't think…she knows, do you?"

If it was possible, Sharpener's eyes rolled even further back into his head at the question. "_Please_. She's almost as bad as _you_ when it comes to reading signals she's shot."

"Hey!" he shouted, slightly offended. "What's _that supposed to mean?"_

_'It means Eresa better be having better luck with Videl than I am with this hopeless case…'_

*****

"I—I don't know, Eresa…"

"Hush!" she silenced her friend, "Less talking, more flirting! Now pucker up so I can put this lipstick on—you're gonna have a great time, trust me!"

"On a date _you set me up on?" she growled through clenched teeth as she pushed out her lips. "You know how much I hate these blind dates…the last one was a nightmare!"_

"Stop moving your lips—I'm gonna smear you with this stuff. And it wouldn't have been such a nightmare if you would stop assessing every guy's fighting ability who has the nerve to even speak to you. You're nearly as bad as your dad about that!"

Videl merely "hmph"ed and allowed her friend to finish readying herself for the evening. She _still didn't know how the girl had gotten her to agree to go out on a double date with Sharpener and one of his guy pals ("Just as friends!" she'd assured) to a fancy new restaurant. She suspected it had been forced out under the influence of a large amount of alcohol._

The doorbell sounded, and Eresa squealed excitedly, bounding downstairs and calling back, "Don't come down yet, 'Del!"

She practically pulled the front door off of its hinges as she slung it open, beckoning the two men behind it into the spacious living room.

*****

How had he let Sharpener talk him into this? They weren't friends, really, and Gohan wasn't exactly the "dating" type—he was far too shy to spend any lengthy amount of time alone with a member of the opposite sex outside his mother and Bulma.

This boy was acting awfully congenially towards Gohan lately—what was the catch, he wondered. Perhaps he was still scared he would rip his arms off or something for teasing him…whatever the reasoning, here they were, standing outside Eresa's front door, ringing the bell.

Would he know her? Would she know him? Would she, perhaps, recognize him from the tournament? No—that was quite unlikely; it had been months ago, and he wasn't exactly the strangest character who had appeared in the fights. Would the night be fun, or horribly awkward? Would she be short, or tall? Dark, or light-haired? A scholar or a fighter? Dare he ask how she would compare…with Videl? 

_Videl_—where had that thought come from? It certainly hadn't been there before…He hadn't even seen his date, and already he was setting standards the poor girl couldn't possibly achieve. Brushing aside the thought and preparing himself, he straightened up when Eresa answered the door.

"Come on in, guys—we're just about ready." She winked slyly at Sharpener and ushered them into the living room, then scampered back to the foot of a long staircase that led into the foyer facing the living room, calling up to her companion. "Ok! You can come down, now!"

Gohan's attentions snapped to the stairs when he heard the loud slamming of a door on the second story. Then came the soft scuffling of feet across the Berber carpet as his date—for he assumed this was she—stepped down, at first oblivious to her onlookers as she straightened her necklace.

"Hey, Eresa, what'd you do with m—" Then she spoke no more, for that was when her breath caught in her throat, and she nearly lost her footing as she crashed into Gohan's hard black stare, gazing up…hopefully?

"We're going to Giotto's—that chic new Italian place down on Fifty-first," Eresa had informed. "They've got some stupid dress-code, I heard. 'Formal wear only, please.'"

And, indeed, the part-time crime fighter had shed her tank-top and biker shorts familiar to her, and was positively dressed to the nines. A flowing maroon ensemble slid down to her waist and buffeted outwards, just barely grazing the floor. It was held up by the thinnest spaghetti straps, showing off her neckline, and her hair sat atop her head in an elegant bun, freed from its pigtails. The outfit was, in fact, one of the same dresses Eresa had held up for her consideration at the mall a mere few days before.

"Gohan," she acknowledged cool, her hand resting lightly on the railing as she tried desperately to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest.

"Videl," he responded in the same tone, for equal purposes.

_'I'm gonna kill those two,'_ were their simultaneous thoughts concerning their scheming friends. After composing herself for a moment, Videl continued on down the stairs, latching onto Gohan's waiting arm, considerably more nervous now that she knew the identity of her date.

But really—a night of great food and fun, with Gohan…would it be so bad?

Had the question been asked aloud, she would have offered a grudging, "No…I guess it could be worse." And she had _been_ through worse, most definitely. But there was no audience in her mind, save the ever questioning, nagging little voice wondering, _'Is my hair still nice? What about my teeth—my breath? Oh, don't trip! Clutz! He's looking at me… don't do anything stupid now!'_

She hated that voice.

"Well, shall we?"

_—End of Fluff—_

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Post-it Notes: Ok, that's about enough waffy stuff for me. Darn you, Ann, for making it so tempting! Aah, feels good to finally get that out of my system. Now I can go back to writing angst and feel no regret! Yeah…I should upload that next chapter for _It's a Start_, shouldn't I?


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